Note To Future Self

Twice as many monkeys means I’ll get Shakespeare in half the time, right?

And when you’re done with Troilus and Cressida, get working on my thesis.

I’m quite possibly, not entirely, exactly, so sure I’m ready for this…

(that would be the Somerfield School enrollment pack …

I’m still not quite sure why the school logo features the Buddha meditating while his bodyguards fend off the paparazzi)

Weekend blues got you down?

We’re here to help.

Here’s a three-and-a-half minute movie of a small person eating applesauce.

You’re welcome.

…and close behind.

Y E S

So … everyone knows that onions make you cry due to  Syn-propanethial-S-oxide diffusing through the air and irritating your tear ducts.

Obviously, the solution is to wear goggles.

It would probably be best to take the time to find the adult-sized ones, though…

So the other day, Aaron arrived at day care to find the bean sprout hard at work making a board game. In the half an hour he spent cooling his heels while she finished working on it, the teachers explained that she had been working on it all afternoon. A break was carefully negotiated so they could clear the table for afternoon tea, after which she resumed feverish work.

After all that it seemed churlish to just pitch it in the recycling bin. Since the Smithsonian hasn’t returned my calls, I guess I’ll document it here.

How to play:
each player gets a hat: there is one each of party hat, rocketship house hat, and traffic light hat.

variation 1: Lay the hats out with their tips pointing to the central circle. Align the shape on the top of your hat with the symbols on the central circle. If the symbol on the top of your hat matches the symbol on the central circle you win!

variation 2. every player selects a hat. one player turns away and their hat is covered with a blanket. If they can describe what their hat looks like they get a green lolly. The game maker is at pains to reassure you that while you might have thought a green lolly would be lettuce flavored, it is, in fact, mint. whew!

There are some more pieces (pictured top left), but the meaning of these has vanished in the sands of time. She did explain that the little picture of a person fishing is, in fact, “a curry”. How this might relate to the party hats remains unclear.

child: “”Scuse me. Time is off course. I have to reset it”

Oh. That explains so very much.

We have now entered the weird and wonderful world of preschooler knock-knock jokes.

knock-knock
who’s there?
apple-pie
apple-pie who?
apple pie computer

knock knock
who’s there?
curtain-flava
curtain flavour who?
no, curtain-flaVA
okay curtain flaVA who?
[child wanders off]